How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
