I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
