Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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