Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
