I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
