He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
