I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
