I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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