i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
