im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
