You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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