I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
