We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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