why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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