Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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