He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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