babies were throwing up all over the place
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
