the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize