Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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