I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
