I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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