Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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