he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
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she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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