ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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