Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
