No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
