I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
