you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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