His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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