Dual....:-)
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
