the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
