It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm like, not good at living.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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