Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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