Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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