why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
