apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
