yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
