I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
