i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
