Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
