The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
either way he was missing a nipple.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
