Me too!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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