i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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