I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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