but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
