I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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