Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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