Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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