i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize