omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
