sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
its not stalking. its research.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
