It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
