Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
