Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize