i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
