I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize