My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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