Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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