I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
