I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
