I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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