I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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