I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
