Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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