I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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