I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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