even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
